The 3 A's that can assist you to transform your life
Do you sometimes notice painful situations that recur in your life? If so, allow us to share the three A’s that can assist you to transform this.
To highlight some examples, consider these: you feeling overwhelmed because you want to achieve so many things and there is not enough time, or simply…things get stuck or do not flow as you expect them to or would like for them to flow... or the reoccurring painful realization of your own people turning their backs on you or betraying you, or the constant feeling of people not paying attention to what you say or propose, always treating it as a secondary thing etc., etc.
The 3 A' s are:
On one hand, a 1st step is to change the high expectations that you constantly put on others, by appreciating more what and who they are and do. Experiment more "appreciating" what and who surrounds you, instead of "expecting" from others or life’s circumstances. This is key to your happiness. Because it is a fact that how others feel, operate, react, do or don’t do, is not within your control. That, only they can control, not you. And having constant expectations placed on others or circumstances can cause a lot of pain, frustration, and unhappiness.
A 2nd step would be to accept yourself and accept what life is presenting to you as a lesson or a step in your evolution. Focus on yourself, instead of focusing on others. Examples: My partner does not do what he should do, my son does not respond as I would like him to, everyone at my job is always negative, all my classmates are mean, my parents do not understand me, etc. Focus on your own person, and what it is you want to really live.
Begin to connect with these two aspects: Your person and your dreams, and work on those. Little by little, begin to connect with activities that have much more to do with you and what you are passionate about. And not only with what you "must do". Focusing more on what you love to do and who you are, will generate a new dynamic of activities, projects, and people, aligned with everything you truly resonate with. And suddenly, you will feel and witness how everything flows with grace and naturalness. You will flow with confidence in life because you feel welcome and appreciated. Because you feel that your person and your mission have a place in this life. Just like others have theirs.
And the 3rd step would be to identify the root of your emotion by asking yourself when you have felt this emotion(s) before. What were the circumstances in your childhood that established this seal that now determines or frames the same reaction and emotion?
Some examples: The deep pain that you feel every time you don’t get the attention in your work or in your relationships could be the same emotion that you had as a child by not having the attention of your father.
Or to feel overwhelmed because you so badly need to succeed might have the same root of mourning for the acceptance of your father...
Or experiencing self-esteem conflicts that inhibit your open communication or manifestation of so many qualities and abilities that are an inherent part of your unique and irreplaceable person, because probably a sibling of yours was constantly telling you that you were worthless, ridiculous or stupid…
With these few examples you may gain insights how the initial emotions were established and sealed in your psyche as a “play” (with specific actors playing specific dynamics) and how it repeats itself again and again, just with different names and faces. However, the play only continues until we become aware of it by identifying and transforming that unconscious memory into a conscious insight, which then will continue to dissolve if we continue to work on it...
This article was written by Gaby de la Mora and can also be found on her website which promotes a variety of aspects related to Psychotherapy, Counseling, Life Coaching, and Sound therapy